About Our Guest- Susan Bratton – Intimacy During Isolation—Creating passionate relationships and maintaining sexual health throughout life

Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the “Dear Abby of Sex,” Susan’s fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion.

Susan is an author, award-winning speaker, and serial entrepreneur who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world.

Susan has been featured in The New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, and on NBC as the “Marriage Magician.”

Full Podcast Transcription

Susan Bratton 00:00
This soulmate embrace is a wonderful way to find your way back to each other when you feel
lost in the world as it is right now.

Diva Nagula 00:32
Hello everyone and welcome to a another episode of From Doctor to Patient. Today I have the pleasure of having Susan Bratton with us. Susan is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships considered the dear Abby of sex, Susan’s fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transforms sex into passion. Susan is an author, award winning speaker and serial entrepreneur who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world. Susan has been featured in The New York Times and on CNBC, and the Today Show as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, the CW Fox and on NBC as the marriage magician. Susan, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you?

Susan Bratton 01:25
Hi, Diva. I’m good. Doing well. I’m sitting here drinking my chaga tea. Delicious. Yeah, I have fallen in love with chaga It’s the funkiest looking mushroom that grows in big lumps on the sides of trees in Siberia. And it’s purported to be excellent for adrenal support. And being a high driving type A personality, I tend to run my adrenals down. So I’m drinking chaga in the morning and chaga at night.

Diva Nagula 02:01
I love it. We just already started giving people hacks at the get go, this is awesome.

Susan Bratton 02:07 Hacks are me!

Diva Nagula 02:10
I’d love to talk more about adrenal support. But I’d like to give the listeners an idea of what you
do and how you help people.

Susan Bratton 02:18
Sure, I’ve been a publisher of passionate love making techniques for going on 15 years. And I also have a line of libido botanical supplements. And I also teach bedroom communication skills. I have a YouTube channel, a website an Instagram and I publish over 20 online home study courses that help do what I like to say is transforming having sex into making love. Because almost everything that you see in the media, whether it’s pornography, which I don’t care for or recommend, because it’s so degrading to women, all the way through to movies and television, really portray a kind of sexuality that is more transactional, more patriarchal, and less heart connected and conscious than most people really crave. Most people want more heart connection more slow, sensual, intimate, surrendered pleasure together. But there aren’t that many places where you can go to figure out what you can do to have that. And so what I’ve done is I’ve made the study of lovemaking techniques, both pleasuring skills and orgasm, to how to ask for and even know what you want in bed, and then how to comfortably ask for it so that you and your partner never feel like there’s any rejection. And you’re actually being completely present to whatever both of you want and need in the moment. It’s really presence that becomes a big part of what people do to find their way from what they think they should be doing to what they actually want.

Diva Nagula 04:15
So important just to be present in the moment. And that’s kind of a lot of the things that I preach on my podcast is one of the things to help eliminate stress and reduce your fight or flight is to really be in the present moment. That actually evolves in the lovemaking process to you can’t exclude that equation.

Susan Bratton 04:35
Well, for so many people, they have performance anxiety in the bedroom. men suffer from a desire to have more stamina, and women equally worry if they’re going to be able to achieve climax because they’re worried about, will I be able to So, what happens is that people start to project out into the future they start to tasks revising or they think about something that happened in the past that drags them down into negative thinking. And mindset, sexual pleasure is actually also a mindset practice. You talk a lot in your book about mindset, being one of the important parts of health and healthy sex comes from having a mindset that lets go of judgment and self criticism, that lets go of worry and fear and you keep bringing yourself back to the moment of connection with the person in front of you. And that does a world of good of lowering the stress and anxiety and increasing the pleasure and intimacy.

Diva Nagula 05:45
Absolutely. And it’s interesting in these times that we’re facing, since we have to follow, stay at home orders, self quarantine, and being in isolation is really hard to really regain intimacy, to what we’re used to. And specifically, when we’re with families and with children, and we’re with them on a constant basis, the intimacy level just isn’t there, and it’s just work. And if you’re single, then it’s even more difficult to even try to find intimacy with other people because you’re being encouraged to do virtual dates through all these dating apps. So what can you advise us in terms of and the listeners about regaining intimacy during these hard times?

Susan Bratton 06:35
Yeah, well, let’s take them into two separate categories, people who are in a relationship and do have someone at home, versus people who don’t have someone at home and are single. So let’s start with if you do have someone at home, the the interesting thing, and I know we’re going to talk about libido, desire and arousal, and how those are three, three interlocking but unique aspects of your sexuality later on in the show. But the thing about desire and arousal and wanting intimacy is that it actually starts in relaxation, if you are stressed, you don’t really want intimacy, if you don’t feel well, whether that’s emotional, and or physical health, or both of those things. It erodes your desire, it erodes your libido, when you don’t feel well, you don’t have a very high libido and stress is a part of not feeling well. And everything is so stressful right now, there’s a great divide in our politics,we’re afraid of people. We’re community creatures, all of us are, and we’re afraid of each other right now. I mean, it’s, it’s just very, very difficult. And then, of course, you add on the economic impacts of what’s going on with so many people out of work, and all of the fear that comes from that. And then when you’re home, maybe you’re trying to work from home, if you’re lucky, you’re still working from home, if you’re not, and you’re wondering if you’re going to be able to keep going. And so there’s just so much strain that it makes us want to kind of curl up into a ball and, and not engage intimately. And one of the things that I tell people is to spend a lot more time holding each other. Holding and being held is a wonderful way to lower your guilt around not wanting to have sex. Also, if you don’t want to have sex, sometimes being held and being massaged and being stroked, will get you to the point where you say, oh, hey, I actually now am relaxed enough that I wouldn’t mind making love. For so many people, they they think, Oh, I should be having sex or Oh, I want sex, but I don’t want sex and then there’s all this strife, and that creates more stress. So just lowering the goal to how can I hold and be held, will often open up that world of intimacy in a way that just trying to figure out how to have sex will ever get you there. So I have a technique I call the soulmate embrace, and it’s a soulmateembrace.com you can print it out and read it. I’ve written it down step by step. But essentially what it does is it teaches the masculine how to hold the feminine, probably in a way that she’s always wished or dreamed she could be held but never has been. Because for a lot of male body partners when that because they are testosterone forward. They’re very goal oriented and they’re also ready to go for sex sooner than their female body partners are. And so they will hold you for a few minutes. And then the minute you relax, they let you go, they think you’re done. What this soulmate embrace does is it teaches you the exact position to lay down together, what to wear, how to do it, how to set the room up for maximum relaxation, especially if you have children in the house. And then how to hold and how to be held. For a lot of women, when they’re being held, they have a very hard time settling their nervous system, they’re in the sympathetic nervous system so much that they can’t calm down, they get that fight or flight feeling of wanting to run away, or they get almost like restless legs syndrome, or they just can’t relax. And for a lot of couples, they give up before they achieve a level of relaxation, that actually calms their nervous system, and gives the oxytocin of skin to skin contact, time to develop in the body. So oxytocin is that bonding chemical, the bonding hormone that lets you get into connection and relaxation. That goes missing when you’re not touching each other. And a lot of couples, when say one partner doesn’t really want to have intimacy and the other one does. They feel like every touch is just trying to get sex. And so they stop wanting to be touched, because it always has to go to the next level. When you isolate the holding and the hugging and don’t have any expectation that it’s going to lead to anything other than relaxation. It almost always does. Because the pressure is off. This goes back to the performance anxiety, the anxiety of having to do more. So when you take away all the pressure, and you add the connection, the touch the oxytocin, the calming the parasympathetic nervous system, the release of anxiety and in the soulmate embrace, it also talks a lot of it’s a very small little book, but it talks a lot about how a woman will actually go through stages of relaxation, she’ll have trouble calming down and then she’ll begin to calm down. And then she’ll have emotion arise and she’ll often need to speak that emotion out. And so it’s good for the masculine just to really listen and let her talk and let her get things off her chest, then she’ll hit another level of calm. And when she hits that level of calm, his job is just to keep holding her and to pull her closer and to provide that structure of his strong arms so that she can relax even more fully. And then to lead her by breathing in a way that she can follow his breath and take deeper breaths to become more oxygenated to become more relaxed. And then slowly being able to stroke her body from the top to the bottom like you would pet a kitty cat. When you’re stroking her skin, it’s waking up all of her proprioceptive grid all the cellular proprioceptive grid in our body, which is actually awakening and alivening her body in a way that she often doesn’t get touched. Full Body touches, very important and then stroking her hair and then as she releases and relaxes and relaxes, kissing her forehead and kissing her eyelids and kissing her cheeks and kissing her neck, not just going right at her face right at her lips. It’s the notion that you’re slowly moving from the outside in, you’re letting her get out her emotions, you’re letting her settle into her body, you’re getting her peripheral nervous system, kind of soothed, everything is soothing. And over time as she relaxes, she’ll start to actually maybe even tear up, salivate more, once you hit a level of relaxation where you are moistening, you’re lubricating. That’s a sign that you’ve hit another level of relaxation. And as she lets down, almost like mother whose breast milk lets down when she lactates. It’s a relaxation that happens. As that letdown occurs and the fluids start running in her body. She may decide she’ll start to feel potentially more lubricated. And she may decide oh, actually, I’d like him to kiss me. I do love him. Oh, right. Yes, this is my partner. oh, and then things might progress from there or they might not but it’s completely up to her and when she knows it’s completely up to her and there’s is never going to be any punishment, rejection or resentment feelings from her saying, that’s all I want right now. Then she’ll ask to be held more and more, because she knows she doesn’t get punished for not going further. And when she begins to be held more and more, it actually gets her more quickly into a state of calm, from which arousal can grow. Because you can’t become aroused until you’re relaxed unless you’re one of those people wired to fight and have sex, which there are a few of them. But generally, and I always speak in gross generalizations, because humans are a bell curve. But this soulmate embrace is a wonderful way to get to find your way back to each other when you feel lost in the world as it is right now.

Diva Nagula 15:54
It’s such a beautiful 1, 2, 3 steps to regain intimacy with your partner. So I love that. And with that in mind I know that’s one bucket that will be applicable for people. But the other bucket is for single people. So what do single people do during these times?

Susan Bratton 16:13
Well, there’s two things. The first is and we talked, you mentioned, video chat, and I highly recommend that Diva. So right now, Bumble, eHarmony, and soon Facebook are including video chat in their apps, Facebook has Facebook dating and their AI matching and the amount of information that they know about us far eclipses anything that the engineering team at Bumble or eHarmony are ever going to be able to do. So what I’m telling my single fans right now is get on Bumble, get on eHarmony start working on understanding how to do video chat well and start chatting people up. Online dating is up 27% there are almost 30% more new possible loves of your life on dating apps now than there were before the beginning of the pandemic.

Diva Nagula 17:16 Wow, I didn’t know that.

Susan Bratton 17:17
So you know, I’ll take 30% more potential matches.

Diva Nagula 17:21 Heck, yeah.

Susan Bratton 17:22
Right. So if you thought in the past that you were frustrated with online dating, oh, I have a profile. And nobody ever responds to me, I reach out, but I never get any responses back. I always say to people, first thing that you want to do is you want to get better pictures. If you’re not having successful traction on online dating, your pictures aren’t flattering. You need to have your friends, take some selfies, set up a timer and your phone, put them through the face tune app, get rid of cluttery backgrounds, get yourself well groomed, whatever you need to do good lighting, and get some good pictures and put them up and then rewrite your profile. And write your profile by stating what you’re looking for, what kind of relationship you’re looking for, and what you have to offer. I know that sounds transactional, but that’s how people make buying decisions. So you want to be one of the ones they pick, you want to get put in their cart. So it’s a very simple thing to say, here’s the kind of relationship I’m looking for. Because people want to know, are you looking to date around? Are you looking to fall in love? Or are you looking to get married? Do you want children? Do you have children? They need to know that information. And then they need to know what you bring to the table. What are your attributes? What are the things that you enjoy what have you the people who have been in good relationships with you in the past enjoyed about being in those relationships with you. So you do that. And then you get a good selfie light their on Amazon. They’re very inexpensive, they go around your phone and they light you well clear your background like you were going to do a zoom call and be professional about the fact that you must present a good front when you’re looking to date. Because people aren’t choosing partners by how they look. That’s called chemistry. If you’re attracted to a certain type of person, and everybody’s attracted to a different type of person, they’re looking for you to catch their eye. And then once you’ve caught their eye, you can see if you have a values match, do you have a values match about what your political ideologies are about how you live your life about your socio economic perspectives, you know, whatever they are, whatever is important to you. And you can’t get to B till you do A so that’s the most important thing and then start meeting people and just chatting. A lot of times people think, it’s a date, no, it’s not a date, it’s a virtual meet and greet. It’s like having a cup of coffee with a stranger, you’re just talking to him. What do you do? Where’d you grow up? Do you have any pets? What are your hobbies? Just get to know people. And don’t expect more than that. But it’s a numbers game, have a lot of video chats spent, get off of your gaming console and get on to your dating video chat and start talking to lots of people, it’s a really good way to bring connection back into what feels like a very lonely existence in a shelter in place solo experience. So use technology because other people are doing it. And you deserve to have that too.

Diva Nagula 20:57
It’s interesting, this new pivot with virtual chatting for dates. I mean, after what you’ve been describing, it almost seems that this may be the new normal, and in which case, you really need to be good at it. Because just like dating for the very first time, you know, you have to date quite a bit in order to get the hang of it. And I’m sure there’s going to be an art to learning to virtual date. And there’s going to be an art to that as well.

Susan Bratton 21:25
Definitely one of the one of the things that I do worry about are the people who are not talkers. They are the ones who are actually disadvantaged in video chat. They’re the ones where if you are one of those people who… a man of few words type of thing, or you’re the kind of person who is slower to get your words to form in your brain so that you can get them out of your mouth. Um, you might want to look into piracetam and these are drugs, but they’re very mild drugs. They have very few contraindications. And they’re particularly excellent for the subset of the population who has a million things going flying around in their head, but they can’t get them out of their mouth. It’s almost like some people say I’m ADD or I’m just slow to say words. Piracetam helps those people a lot. It’s a coping strategy for many people who are like that. And so if you’re one of those people who’s like, Oh, you mean, I’m not the only one. There’s other people like me?! There’s tons of other people like you. Those are the people that did really well on chat and texting, because they could have time to think about what they wanted to say and get it down in letters. So you’re definitely at a disadvantage if you’re in that category. But you know, you can also always say to people… now my husband is one of those people who is very, very smart, and very, very thoughtful. And when he’s thinking, he’s thinking three miles ahead of everybody else.

Diva Nagula 23:33 Sounds like me.

Susan Bratton 23:34
Is it? Okay, there you go. So you can relate to it. And I’m a fast talker, and I could talk circles around him. And when we first started dating about 30 years ago, I noticed that I would ask him a question, and he wouldn’t answer. And I get really annoyed with him. And I’d be like, did you hear what I said, and he’s be like, yeah, I heard what you said. And I said, well, answer me. And he said, well, I’m thinking, and I finally one day, I said to him, I’ll tell you what, when I asked you something, and you’re thinking just say thinking, and then take all the time that you want to answer me, because then I’ll know that at least you heard what I said. And that has worked for 30 years for us where he’s just like thinking, and then three or five minutes later he’ll answer me and it’ll be a damn good answer, Diva, It’ll be damn good answer. I married a genius. And I’m very lucky and we learned a coping mechanism. So if you are one of those people, when you talk to someone and you have a video chat with them just say, it takes me a while to think of what I want to say and get the words out. So just bear with me. I’m just slow like that. Don’t be afraid to say that and don’t be afraid to explain who you are. You are lovable for who you are to and great things are happening in that brain. While there’s silence

Diva Nagula 25:00
My entrepreneurial brain is right now like moving a million miles a second because I’m thinking of all these different ideas with this virtual online dating because you have to coach someone because another good right now there’s coaching for regular dating, but then you can have coaching for the virtual dating and then you could also add in the lighting that you were talking about. And then you could also add in the nootropics that we were just discussing. I mean, it’s a business in of itself.

Susan Bratton 25:29
But I just give it away for free!

Diva Nagula 26:39
So now we’re into the relationships, so we’re talking about people who have utilized your techniques, but sometime it’s a lot of people have issues with libido and desire. And issues stem from having a lot of stress, which obviously impairs their libido. It all works with their hormone system, so the more cortisol that we’re having in our system as a result of stress, the less hormones that we’re producing, our adrenal system is fatigued, a lot of us are probably facing a lot of fatigue with our Arduinos because we’re under a lot of stress. And we’re not spending enough time in rest and digest but more time in fight or flight. So what kind of things can we do to boost our adrenals or help relax us to optimize our hormonal function?

Susan Bratton 27:34
Now, the first thing is that your hormones are actually not that vital to your desire for sex. A lot of people think that, oh, it’s my hormones, oh, my husband doesn’t want me because he has low testosterone or you know, my wife doesn’t want to have sex anymore because she went through menopause or whatever hormones get blamed for a lot of low libido they don’t necessarily deserve. There are a lot of people who have mediocre testosterone and they still love sex. That being said, I like bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, I recommend that people top up. And also I really recommend libido botanicals, and I really recommend nitric oxide supplementation. By the time you’re 40 or 50, you have half the ability to pump blood around your body that you did when you were 20 or 30. Our nitric oxide production, just like our hormone production diminishes with age and blood flow is actually I believe, more important than hormone production for sexual desire.

Diva Nagula 28:46
Good point and that’s for male and females. Correct?

Susan Bratton 28:50
Thank you Diva. Yes, because women have as much erectile tissue in our clitoral and urethral sponge, perineal sponge, the whole structure, in our vulva which is people say vagina but the vagina is just the vaginal canal. The vulva is the entire female genital structure. And it’s really a cuff of a erectile tissue that’s like a bracelet all around the vaginal canal. So the clitoris that people mostly think of as being the the thing that brings pleasure is just the tip of the iceberg. That’s you know, 5% of what’s sticking out 95% of her erectile tissue is inside draped all around over above under her vaginal canal. And most women don’t give themselves time to get fully engorged and get enough blood flow to that erectile tissue. As well as we age, the vagina doesn’t have any lubricating glands. The bartholin glands are mostly considered to be thought of as antibacterial not lubrication. So the way that women’s vaginal mucosa gets lubricated is through the blood plasma seeping liquid down through the tissue, the mucosal tissue, and lubricating the canal that way. And though how much a woman is lubricated, does not indicate her level of arousal and desire. For most women, when they’re well lubricated, they feel more turned on. Just as when a man sees his erection, he feels more aroused, there are signals that our body sends us to let us know that we have desire that were turned on. So it’s really, really important to get a lot of blood flow back into the pelvic bowl for both men and women. You know, Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, the PDE5 inhibitor class of drugs, essentially what it does is it increases blood flow to the penile tissue, and to the vaginal tissue to all of the tissue to the pelvic bowl. But often what I’ve found with the hundreds of 1000s of guys that that follow me is that if they can get their nitric oxide levels topped back up, by taking a nitric oxide supplement, they can get off of taking those PDE5 inhibitors, many, many guys, it starts of course with healthy nutrition, not eating fried foods, eating healthy fats, eating good organic vegetables, eating quality, sustainably grown fish and poultry and pasture raised beef, some things like that, if you can afford to do those things, if you can prioritize your health in that way, and then moving blood flow getting up and to having circulatory events, your cardiovascular health overall, as you age, the first place you lose blood flow is into the genital system, both male and female, if your husband has ED, sodium. It’s just that we have innies and they have outies so it’s just more apparent. And most couples eat the same food. So nitric oxide supplementation is very important. And I like to think about, there are three vitamins that I recommend you take from the time you’re 40 onward for the rest of your life, every single day. One of those is a quality vitamin mineral complex, especially one with high quality folate instead of folic acid, because so many people have the MTHFR genetic mutation. So methylated B complex is really important in your vitamin now I make a vitamin that has libido botanicals, right in the vitamin mineral complex. So you just can take your libido botanical with your vitamin mineral. The second thing that I recommend is an omega three, a lot of people take fish oil, I think it’s better to eat lower on the food chain, I think an algal oil with good DHA profile is a very nice product to take instead of fish oil, although every day I take a big giant tablespoon, big spoonful, of cod liver oil myself every day. And then the third thing is a nitric oxide supplement. And then you can stack from there with whatever is needed in your universe. If your family is predisposed to being diabetic, if your family is predisposed to Alzheimer’s, if your family is predisposed to cardiovascular issues, I mean, obviously these aren’t diseases, these are lifestyle illnesses. So you’ve got to watch out. It starts with nutrition and exercise, but those three things and omega three, so you get your fatty acids, you get your vitamin minerals, because they’re missing from our food supply. And you get a nitric oxide supplement and the nitric oxide supplement that I made. It’s called flow. What I saw as a missed opportunity in the marketplace that I couldn’t find when I realized that blood flow was actually more important than hormones for your sex drive was an organic product. And most of the things out there are made from corn, pesticide laden corn, I’ll put in a big vat, inoculated with a bacteria that basically eats the corn sugar and poops out arginine and then if they want citrulline because arginine and citrulline are the two things that help you and nitrates that help you create nitric oxide, which is what your body uses to shuttle the blood around in your system vesodilation keeps your arteries from getting plaque and getting calcified, it means they’re flexible and they can move the blood around to your brain to your heart to all your parts. Most of the stuff is made in China in big vats of pesticide laden corn. And I didn’t want my followers to have to take that kind of crap. So I created something that comes from organic watermelon. It’s actually organic watermelon rind citrulline from organic watermelon rind, and then nitrates from spinach. And the interesting thing about you when you eat leafy green vegetables and beets, beet root is good, but a lot of it is pesticide laden, you have to watch out for the beet products out there too, because they’re covered in pesticides. My product doesn’t have beets, it has spinach, it has watermelon, it has vitamin C, which slows the oxidation, so you get better blood flow from acerola cherries, rather than from asorbic acid, which is another vat made product. It’s really interesting how supplements are made. And if you eat a lot of greens, but you’re still not getting the blood flow that you want. Often, it’s because you’re using an antibacterial mouthwash that’s killing the bacteria in the crypts of your tongue that convert the leafy green vegetables, the nitrates into nitrites. And then you swallow that into your stomach in your stomach acid actually can convert the nitrites into nitric oxide that your body can use as a gaseous molecule. And what’s funny about it is that if you take a proton pump inhibitor, it kills that part of the process. So if you’re taking an antibacterial mouthwash and you’re taking a proton pump inhibitor, antacids or what have you, if killing off all your stomach acid when you actually need more stomach acid, not less stomach acid, because our stomach acid wanes as we get old too. That’s part of the reason why our nitric oxide system wanes. You end up with this, you’re basically suppressing your entire blood flow system and increase immune cardiovascular risk. So it’s quite interesting. So I think a nitric oxide supplement is the very, very first thing that anyone should do if they want to keep up their sexual health and their desire. Because if you can’t get the blood into your genitals, you don’t even feel turned on.

Diva Nagula 37:39
Right, about those people, so if they had health issues like diabetes, or cholesterol, and they may have impediments in their blood flow to their sexual parts, sometimes these things don’t really work, because there’s a mechanical issue. So are there any other options for those people?

Susan Bratton 38:00
Yeah. For men, there’s a technique called GAINS wave. Have you heard of it? I have. Okay, great. So GAINS wave is awesome. It’s basically a sound wave that breaks up, they put this little device right up against your penis, and it breaks up the plaque in the penile arteries. And it stimulates new tissue growth, you can do that in combination with PRP, which is platelet rich plasma taken from your own blood and concentrated and injected you they use litocane so you don’t feel it injected into the penile tissue that brings healing factors into that tissue so that essentially you’re reconstituting your penile tissue. And then the third piece of that is using a vacuum erection device. The one I like is called the Whopper. So I like GAINS wave, with the PRP shots with the Whopper. And that brings, it’s basically the vacuum pulls blood from your body into your penis. And what it does is it increases the blood carrying capacity of your penis. Now if you’re severe diabetic, with diabetic neuropathies, and you know all kinds of problems, the chances of this working are pretty slim. There are some diabetics who’ve done three rounds of GAINS wave and they’ve achieved a reversal back to full function. But um you know, it is very difficult for people who are morbidly obese who have serious cardiovascular health I mean, it’s really just going to make it very difficult but for the the average fare or the early person who’s like, I just want to make sure I keep all this stuff working, or Oh, I’m getting a little soft and getting little bendy, that then they can use GAINS wave to great effect and P shots with great effect and if they can’t afford those things, the vacuum erection device aka penis pump, the Whopper, works very well. I’ve written a book about how to use a vacuum erection device to reverse genital atrophy, and regain erectile function and to stimulate new tissue growth and increase your penile volume. Because as you age, your penile volume decreases due to atrophy, we’re shrinking as we age. And that’s that pumpingguide.com. And it explains what gains weight is, what key shots are, how to pump, what pump to use, how frequently to do it, how to maintain your growth, and all of those things, good diet and exercise. So that’s helpful. And then for women, there’s finally something that you can do at home, which I have been waiting for for a long time. Women equally suffer with atrophy. And for men where their penis shrinks for women, they get what’s called vaginal laxity. Their vaginas get bigger, kind of floppy and big, loose. Because the skin recedes, the vaginal mucosa gets less tumescent less full of blood flow. And so it gets less plump. And it recedes. And also when women have a loss of estrogen, they definitely have more painful sex. So painful sex is a big part of the problem as well. So they also suffer from incontinence and both men and women have sensation loss due to the the nerves and capillaries and veins and everything kind of receding as they age. So there’s a couple things that are really good for women, you can get an O shot, which is the same as the P shot the PRP for men, it’s PRP into the spongy tissue of your genital structure, and also up into the tissue that holds up the bladder so that it can help with incontinence. But there’s also something new called the vFit. And the vFit is a do it yourself at home FDA approved vaginal restoration device. That is absolutely fantastic. I just used it this morning myself. It uses red light therapy laser light to stimulate the mitochondria. It increases vaginal mucosal production, it increases lubrication, it uses heat to recollagenate the tissue. It feels good, it feels warm, not hot. And that helps recollegentate and plump back up the vaginal tissue. And then it also helps with incontinence, it builds that tissue up through essentially vibration, which is like key goals done for you. You do it every other day for 10 minutes a day over an eight week period and you see significant results and then you can move to maintenance mode. I used to have to send women out for CO2 laser resurfacing of the vaginal mucosa or RF deep damage to the vaginal mucosa. Those things cost about $1500 or more for those treatments. The CO2 laser is a four or five pass, you can’t do it all at once because it’s burning so much of your tissue, you weep, you get burned, it hurts, it’s very painful. The RF devices, they’re a little better for incontinence than for tissue laxity, because it burns and goes even deeper. But then your body repairs all that, you know all that damage and that’s how you regain function. But for most women, if they’re not really really bad off, I recommend they start with the vFit and it took me a long time to get the vFit company. They’re called JoyLux to allow me to have a special link to give people but I negotiated a relationship with them because I helped so many people with you know with their sexual issues. And if you go to JoyLux.com/Susan. They give you a bottle of their really nice vaginal moisturizer, a $65 bottle of a very nice vaginal moisturizer with your with your vFit order. And it includes seabuckthorn which is an Omega fatty acid that works very well in the vaginal mucosa. The problem is seabuckthorn is orange. It’s kind of like a goat. It’s the goji berry of the Himalayas. And what vFit has been able to do is to create a really nice product that’s non staining for the original moisturizing which is nice and it’s all natural. I am really against any kind of chemicals around the genital tissue of the masculine or feminine body.

Diva Nagula 44:58 Even topicals?

Susan Bratton 44:59
Absolutely. Your skin is the largest organ of your body, and it is sucking things into your system. And the best thing that you can do is limit the amount of chemicals that you use in your detergents in your dish detergents, in your shampoos and health and beauty aids, and especially in your lubricants. I recommend to people that they use organic avocado oil, or organic sweet almond oil as a sexual lubricant. Instead of things like KY jelly and other things like that it’s just chemical after chemical after chemical and you put that on your vaginal mucosa, you might as well drink it in your your vagina is exactly the same tissue is what’s in your mouth, it sucks right into your body, you know how you take sublingual pills? Well, it’s the same in your vagina and your rectum, it’s all very sensitive tissue. So you’ve got to lower your toxic load so that your hormones can actually produce themselves and your neuro-transmitters can be produced. And we’re just bombarded by toxins these days. So keeping that as minimal as possible is super important.

Diva Nagula 46:13
I totally agree. And it is so important because the theme about what I try to convey to people, whether it’s through my book, or having guests like you, it’s really about a lifestyle change. And it’s not about just popping a pill. It’s not about you know, applying topicals, so to speak, we know that’s not optimal for health. But in general, it’s about changing your lifestyle to really optimize function. And it’s a holistic approach. So it’s not something that you guys see results overnight. But over time, you’re going to see a lot of results and not have to rely on pills, and gimmicks, and things of that nature. And that’s why it’s so important that I stress what you put into your body is so important. And from what I know from my research is that males and females, they put on hundreds of chemicals on their body topically. And as you said before, those are the chemicals that get resorb into our body and those toxins, wreak havoc on our system. Combine that with the foods that we eat, and the pesticides that are in the foods and the processed nature. It’s no wonder we’re having so many issues with performance. And you combine that with stress, it’s just a horrible combination for our overall health and sexual function. So yeah, thanks for really reminding me and reminding our listeners how important it is that it’s about a lifestyle change.

Susan Bratton 47:35
Yeah, my pleasure. I was thinking that we should go over all of the things that I’ve told you. Let me give you all the link site I gave you throughout this thing. soulmateembrace.com for the holding technique that explodes passionate lovemaking. Then we talked about pumpingguide.com for reversing the masculine atrophy that naturally comes with aging happens all guys. Then let’s see we talked about the organic avocado oils that I like. I get them at HMB oils they have organic refined avocado oil and sweet almond oil. They also have very nice shea butter, mango butter and other things that you can use for body lotions and for massage that are very good. They call them carrier oils. They’re organic refined carrier oils. They’re very nice. JoyLux.com/Susan for the vFit. And the blood flow supplement made from organic fruit and vegetables and the vitamin and mineral complex with the methylated vitamins and libido botanicals, both of them are at my website called The20Store.com – my company’s called The 20th, the 80:20 rule, 20% of the stuff that gets the results, that’s what I put in my products. And I think that’s everything I mentioned for resources. If you want to find me, you can find me at PersonalLifeMedia.com there’s 1000s of articles indexed by search on anything, any question you have about sexuality. I probably have answered it. Mostly what I do is I write advice columns about sexual questions. So most of the articles are sex and relationship oriented and anti-aging, sexual biohacking, health related. And then if you want to follow me on Instagram, I’m @SusanBratton that’s more the personal side of me, then the business side of me. But if you’re like, Who the hell is this girl? That’s where you can find a little bit more about me personally.

Diva Nagula 50:09
Well, Susan, thank you so much for all the wealth of information that you just shared with us. I’m glad we did a recap because I was starting to forget all the things that you were mentioning. I’ll definitely put those in our show notes. So thank you so much. And yeah, it’s been so awesome to have you on the show. And I could probably sit here and listen to you for another hour. But for sake of time, we’re probably gonna have to end the show here. But I would love to have you on again, I’m sure the listeners would too.

Susan Bratton 50:36
It’d be my pleasure to come back anytime Diva. I really appreciate that you are considering sexuality as part of whole positive living. So thank you for giving me the platform to talk about things that very few people actually address and yet are so vital to our connection as human beings.

Diva Nagula 50:58
Awesome. Thanks again, Susan. Take care.